“You should know how to cook, go make me something to eat!”
“If you can’t make a good cup of plain tea who will want to marry you?”
“You’re the man! You’re supposed to provide for me!”
We’ve all heard or been at the receiving end of these words at some point in our lives, maybe even on a daily basis. I myself have heard some of the above directed at me, to which I usually respond with a diatribe much to the chagrin of those around me.
Gender Stereotypes are one of the most insidious challenges to gender equality and the empowerment of women, and Sri Lanka is no stranger to them. They are generally defined as a group of generalizations made about a set of gender related qualities, attributes and characteristics.
It is important to look at how gender stereotypes are ingrained in us. One of the biggest factors of causation is social learning, which is defined in the field of psychology as the observation and imitation of role models. Through our parents, siblings, and friends we tend to internalize certain characteristics each gender conforms to from the time we’re kids. We see our mothers cook and clean, take care of the kids, and do the grocery shopping. We see our fathers go off to work, pay the bills and watch sports. These moments and experiences leave a deep impression on our mind, and later on in our lives we find ourselves expecting a certain set of behaviors and attitudes for men and for women. So if we see a man crying, or a woman responding with violence, or one who can’t cook or clean, it goes against many of the foundations of beliefs which we have built our life and personality around.
The media also plays a very influential role. Consider advertisements for cookware, often a women is used for this type of adverts, portraying her as the epitome of a nurturing housewife. On the other end of spectrum, let’s look at advertisements for vehicles. Usually we see a suave male model speeding along dusty roads with a scantily clad female model waiting for him at his destination. Advertisements often have implicit messages for its audience, and through these examples it isn’t difficult to discern what these messages are. If you’re a woman, you cook and clean, and if you’re a man you get to enjoy life as much as you can with no responsibilities whatsoever.
Sri Lanka is full of such advertisements. Recently on a popular radio station a advertisement for diamond jewelry was being played, in which a man complains about having proposed to his girlfriend multiple times with no success. His friend (also a man) suggests that it’s probably because he got the wrong engagement ring, at which point he suggests that his friend should visit the advertised store in order to get the “perfect” diamond ring, which would guarantee him success. The tagline for this advertisement is “get the diamond, get the girl”. In a follow up advertisement the man then states how his girlfriend said yes when he proposed with the ring from this particular store, and then encourages listeners to do the same. Personally I found this advertisement to be sickening. It is sad to see how baseless gender stereotypes are being perpetuated in order to increase profit. This ad is almost explicitly stating that women are shallow human beings, with no concerns other than vanity and possessions. Responsible marketing strategies need to be used to prevent such harmful material being broadcasted on media channels.
Stereotypes are harmful because the way people treat us is based on their perception of us. If a women’s believes that her duty is to be obedient, timid and submissive, she is more vulnerable to abuse and violence from men. If men believe that they need to be dominating and aggressive in order to establish their gender identity, this will make them more prone to domestic violence and misogynistic attitudes.
Gender stereotypes also greatly restricts us, and reduces our behaviors and attitudes to a set of characteristics that are deemed to be “appropriate” to a large swath of society. This has far reaching consequences. We see quite a number of naïve, young women whose only aspiration in life is to be a good wife and mother. Firstly allow me to point out that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a good wife or mother, the problem lies in the fact that a significant number of these young women feel that this is what they’re “supposed to do”, and think that it is the only thing they can do as women. This type of thinking only further perpetuates the patriarchal system of thinking that exists in Sri Lankan society. In rural areas we see that an increasing number of women have internalized domestic violence as just another part of life; just another part of day to day activities.
Women are not the only victims of gender stereotyping. Men too suffer at the hands of this type of categorization. A man is expected to be the sole breadwinner of the family. He is expected to provide over and above the needs of the family. If he can’t do this, he is not considered to be a “man”. Men are also expected to prove their masculinity through displays of physical strength and aggression. Violence has also become a tactic to assert a man’s masculinity. Not conforming to these assumptions leads to labels such as weak, or woman (which is used in many instances as an insult -.-).
People might ask, why bother about gender stereotypes? They might say that it’s only a very small issue in a gamut of challenges we face today in Sri Lanka and around the rest of the world. Yet what many don’t realize is that gender stereotypes leaves deep impressions on us subconsciously. Often we conform to them involuntarily, with no awareness that we are doing so. A change in our perspective of gender roles would go a long way in addressing many of the insidious challenges we face today. It would largely help in deconstructing the patriarchal mindset we share, which in turn would alleviate violence against women and address the deep rooted misogyny present in our country.
Stereotyping needs to stop, yet how can we do it? How can we change the values and ideals ingrained in the minds of people for centuries? Start with yourself, and be an example. Create awareness wherever you go, and speak out when it happens around you. Don’t allow the next generation of Sri Lankans to be born into a society where their gender is a cage.
The opinions expressed in this article are solely that of the author’s and does not reflect those of any organization/programme the author represents.
